Well hey it must be Christmas……lots of people are dropping dead! Mr Reaper always has shed loads of fun in the Festive season, I’ll expect some major disaster in a far flung corner of the Empire on either Christmas day or Boxing day, it’s par for the course and the Grim one’s idea of fun, bless him!
Yeah, the birth of Christ, well it has to coincide with something dreadful, doesn’t it? I mean it can’t all be happy children, fluffy puppies and goodwill, can it? There’s got to be a few corpses thrown into the melange, sadly. Doesn’t there?
I’ve had an “annus horriblus”, to quote Liz Windsor ( not her real name, as some of you are no doubt aware, she wos of course a Cherman). I’ve faced eviction, bankruptcy, the death of one of my best friends, and the sad demise of someone who I was extremely fond of. Factor in old friend stabbing me in the back, and you’ve got what amounts to a fucking nightmare.
“It’s the end of the world as we know it, and I feel fine” to paraphrase Mr Stipe, and truly, I do feel fine. All these dreadful experiences have to be a learning curve as we get older, we’ve got no choice. “Life goes on, it must go on” as my Pa used to say.
But I guess the year has brought a few things home to me:
People have said to me “things can only get better” – Well if you believe that obviously you haven’t been paying attention, or perhaps more likely you are one of these lucky souls who’ve been able to position their head between their arse cheeks. Things can, and usually do, get worse, and there seems to be little or nothing one can do about it. Life is, as they say, the proverbial “shit sandwich”……
For instance, Robbie Williams left Take That, a dreadful blow for their fans and friends, and much weeping and wailing ensued.
And just when you think things couldn’t get any worse, the bastards have the audacity to announce they’ll stay together! An awful day for culture and mankind in general.
And whilst we’re on the subject of music, can anyone tell how me how it is that Jimi Hendrix is sadly dead, whilst Justin Bieber continues to draw breath? John Lennon was murdered and Rupert Murdoch thrives? And you tell me there’s a God?
There’s been much death in the media of late, with all the “celebrations” commemorating the First World war. How we can commemorate such a dreadful event with so many lives needlessly wasted is completely beyond me. Those poor souls were brainwashed and sent to a war without any pertinent reason, they were cannon fodder, plain and simple. My Nan’s second husband Jim Moore, who fought in WW1 told me “If you had seen what I saw in the trenches, you’d realise there can never be a loving, forgiving God”.
And speaking of which……
I’ve heard it said we have an eternal soul, and when we die we’ll be in a better place. Hmm…well, I’m sorry to shatter anyone’s illusions, but right now that looks like a crock of shit to me too. “Aftershave, afterlife, don’t hold with any of it” as Sir Henry was once heard to bellow.
Whilst I certainly wouldn’t rule out the possibility, as the years pass, I find it more unlikely. Virtually all my close family have passed, several of my ex’s and sadly more than a few of my close friends, all dead. And probably for better rather than worse, I’ve not heard from any of them since. And I’m kind of glad too, cos I’m sure the experience would be most disturbing……!
As my regular readers know, my Grandmother was something of a celebrated medium/fortune teller in her time, and probably a follower of Madam Blavatsky, and an Esoteric to boot. I’ve grown up with spirituality and mysticism, and have always had a very open mind in such matters, and will continue to keep my mind open.
Death is heavy and final, experienced by the living at least. And I was reminded with Jem’s death in August, death envelopes you in it’s cocoon, like there’s a fat, 15 tog transparent duvet wrapped round you, buffering you from reality. It’s like a natural defence system, it stops you from falling apart completely. It protects you from the ghastly reality of the situation.
And what’s left, after all the business of death is taken care of? Love, that’s what’s left, the single most important thing we all have, well the lucky ones anyway. There’s no apparitions, no messages from beyond, just love, and that’s all we need.
In fact, if there is an afterlife, I simply don’t want to know, it just gets in the way of my beforedeath, if you catch my drift? Can I just get to find out right after I draw my last please?
I’m beginning to understand how the concept of the afterlife is really another way to subjugate the masses, another way to keep them fearful and deluded about life, to stop them living completely fulfilling lives. More sin and shame……and God yes I’ve been a sinner, a fornicator, a drinker and a Rock’n’Roller……and I’ve enjoyed every goddamn minute of it!
“Ian McLagan will not be resting in peace,” Mick Hucknall’s message read. “He’ll be rocking whichever house he chooses to be in. Bless his soul.”
Another thing someone said to me recently was “there’s someone out there for everyone”, and with the recent news of Charlie Manson’s engagement to a delightful looking 26 year old, the more needy menfolk out there could be easily tricked into thinking that could well be the case. But as far as I’m aware, none of my close friends are happily ensconced in a partnership with their soul mate, in fact the few I know that still have a partner are deeply unhappy with their lives, which is simply beyond tragic.
Life is so damned strange. Just when you think you’ve met the right one, they turn into some sort of spiritual vampire and attempt to suck the life force out of you. Or they attempt to suck the life force out of the nearest bar, off licence or supermarket, then when they’re nice and drunk they scream at you and tell you their dreadful condition is all your fault. Of course the sex will probably be wonderful, if you can take the humiliation and abuse……
It seems we live in a very unhappy society and I think quite a bit of our unhappiness can be sourced back to the internet. On a local level there is little “society” left, half of the pubs which were the hub of my local community have gone, and the others too expensive for poor folk like me to visit. The most social I get usually is going out in the evening to Tesco’s and Asda, bargain hunting. Here I am, sitting at my laptop, writing an article that will be read by at least 10,000 people who subscribe to my blog. Sadly I’ll never get to meet any of those good people, because they probably, like me, are sitting alone in front of their laptop too……
And having mentioned sex earlier, I have to say, sometimes I think the only people having sex nowadays are porn stars, and by the looks of them, most of them are fairly bored. I don’t know anyone that’s having great sex, except possibly with themselves. Friendship and love promotes healthy sexual relations, sitting alone in front of a laptop doesn’t.
Again, the internet makes us more and more secluded, that’s why Facebook is so addictive: it appeals greatly to our narcissism ( hey, wasn’t that last posting of mine clever and funny? Look at me, I’m a fucking star! ) it feeds our desire to interact with each other ( we are still naturally gregarious, no matter how much we pretend otherwise ), without the messy business of leaving one’s home or actually coming face to face with someone, i.e. real socialising. This greatly appeals to our lazy instincts: we have a sort of “faux” social life. Sure, we may interact in cyberspace, but heaven forbid, in real life? A community without physical contact, a contradiction in terms……….
I’m reading more about lonely, unhappy people, and I know the internet is useful sometimes, to instantly contact people across the globe, but there ain’t nothing like the real thing, baby. But then again, as a great philosopher once said “whatever gets you through the night, it’s alright “.
We will survive……
To all my dear friends, to my 10,000 plus subscribers and the almost 120,000 people that have strayed here, Merry Christmas to you all!