A mad person with a gun has killed a number of men/women/children ( delete where applicable ) at a school in America. This is mostly down to the psychosis caused by modern life, but also by serious greed on behalf of the arms dealers/weapons industry. Totally outdated and irrational gun laws play a major part too
A group of radical extremist ( insert demonised religious group ) have killed/tortured/maimed/crucified/raped a sect of completely innocent men, women and children, somewhere in that dark corner of the Middle East, the fertile crescent. This is a result of the USA arming some of the most mentally unstable ruthless murderers for their own ends: Oil/Minerals/Heroin – delete where appropriate ( Spose we’d best mention those greedy arms dealers again, oh and Dick Cheney’s Haliburton, the US oil field contractors, who have made $39.5 billion thus far from the Iraq war )
A Mother has pleaded not guilty to killing her infant, claiming diminished responsibility. The judge said the Mother was of previously good character, and that he did not want the trial to turn into a forum in the media on the conduct of the health professionals involved. This dreadful scenario is in part also caused by the insanity of modern life, but greatly assisted by a social service system that’s more concerned with it’s public image and it’s pension than the people it serves, and a government that’s resentful towards people who don’t fit their consumerist archetype
A dreadfully serious disease, which can make you bleed from the ass/eyes/penis ( delete where applicable ), is tearing it’s way through darkest Africa, in fact almost all Africans have it. We’re all going to die, because “they” can’t find an antidote even tho “they” made the virus in a lab. ( At least the American government has got lots of boxes for our bodies )
A famous and frankly brilliant footballer from Finland has just signed to Blackburn Rovers for £700,000,000. That’s a million pounds a minute for the next 5 years. Unfortunately whilst training, he broke an eyelash. Coaches say he’s unlikely to be match fit until 2016.
And finally the weather: generally shite if you live in the UK, the rest of the world, warm and sunny……