Incredibly, numerous people have said to me “ooh you haven’t updated your site for ages!”. My nice new bud Deb at Asda was one, hi Deb. I’m so flattered that people still look at my site, and perhaps want more. And the hits keep coming; almost 90,000 so far.
There’s several reasons why I haven’t uploaded anything of late:
1) I don’t have the net at home, and tethering your Android is ok, but looking at the web on my phone is like asking to go blind, it’s too small! And it’s so slow……
2) I kindof run out of things to say for a while, mostly due to exasperation I might add. A speechless Terence? shurely some mistake?
I have a few really close friends who are as disturbed and frustrated as I am about modern life. The angry 50 something men! But hey, what’s the point? The buggers will continue to drive their ideological steamrollers over our heads, and if we don’t like it, we can just die anyway. I’m so tired of a system which favours only the rich. And that’s certainly the way it is here, and the way it will always be, and always has been. Well from the 11th century anyway……
The revolution won’t be televised, unless it’s featured on CBeebies. “Quiet desperation is the English way” etc etc. I’m totally tired of that too, but, sincerely there’s nothing we can do about it, save civil war. And I’m a lover, not a fighter…..
When we were teeny stoners, older “Heads” told us things like “the government is Big Brother”, “Ganja kills Cancer”, “the government are thieves and robbers”, which made us think about our lives and the world, as did the Pot. Of course they were right, and every day pretty much every conspiracy theory about the government turns out to be real. What a fecking surprise……not. So, look up our bums you perverts, I just wish I could enjoy it as much as you do.
3) That said, one’s creative muse feels threatened and buggers off, if it thinks someone’s watching the creative process. “Don’t spook the Horse” as Neil Young says. Perhaps I’m flattering myself by assuming a “government agent” has checked out my site. In fact that’s a bit like “parental advisory”, it’s bound to help sell a million! What a recommendation, a bit like Dawkins telling you you’re an idiot, praise indeed!
But it also feels a bit like somebody put an umbrella up in your vicinity, obtrusive, intrusive…..
Depressed. That’s a word you hear a lot nowadays. “Got a depression, and it won’t let go, Got a depression, and I hate it so” The Great Ig gets it, even Jesus said “how much longer must I suffer the world of men”.
When your self esteem is low, and you’re fundamentally unhappy, it’s very hard to do anything, especially writing or something creative. And as I say, I’d like to put my angry rant days behind me, it’s all so pointless.
At times when unhappiness and depression totally pervade ( and I’ve had a handful of late, and a ton last Winter ) I simply have to change my mind, take it to somewhere nice. It’s hard, and it takes a lot practise, but it can be done. So please, don’t be “ready to die” just yet, no matter how much despair you feel, you are not alone……
This last year I lost 2 stone, and got really fit, and feel a lot better about myself. So perhaps my muse will return fully recharged…..
The net has changed further since I last surfed round it. It’s more insidious than ever, twice as tricksy and crammed full of myth and rubbish, no doubt fully endorsed by our ruling classes. Here we go again…….
So, what for the future of TRUK? Nice corporate name huh?
Well, me and the interweb will be especially cosy in these coming weeks, launching my new business and schmoozing ( is that what you call it nowadays Tev? ). I’ve got numerous pieces ( here’s one I made earlier ) to blow yer tinys, so hey, cop this, and Gawd bleshya!
MERRY CHRISTMAS EVERYBODY!!!